Being grateful

You often read it in feel-good magazines: be grateful. You read tips like: write down three things you are grateful for every day. I believe this can help. It gives me a more positive view about my own life. It prevents me from getting gloomy by worrying about my gender dysphoria.

And there are certainly little things that make me happy. I am grateful for those.

I want to thank hairdresser Linda, who knows I am transgender but treats me like all her lady clients. Who talks to me about everyday things while she washes, conditions, cuts and dries my hair.

I want to thank beauty specialist Liselotte for her warm welcome. I visited her the other day in boy mode and told her my story. It made her happy. It seemed like an honor for her to be allowed to help me. I had my eyebrows styled for the first time, and she did it with such skill and enthusiasm. And I still enjoy the result.

I want to thank my colleagues, who compliment me on my nice shoes. (To be honest, they are all female colleagues, I guess most men are blind to shoes.) My colleagues don’t yet know that I am trans, nor do they know that these shoes come from the women’s department (they are not too typically feminine), but I am delighted by the compliments.

I thank my (again female) friends who say I look good with my new haircut. They too don’t know that I am trans, they don’t know that I grow my hair to look more feminine, but it is nice to hear.

I thank my online and real-world friends from the local TG community for their openness and willingness to listen. What moves me the most is that they are so inclusive. As a transgender person who is currently choosing not to go for a medical transition, I sometimes feel insecure. I feel “not trans enough”. But they welcome me as one of them. They are sweethearts.

I thank my wife who still has a hard time with my gender journey. She doesn’t want to see me in my most feminine form, but she dares to make jokes about it. She accepts me as a gender-diverse person. She allows me my me-time, when I go out for the day as Louise. And then she says “Have a nice day”. I love her.