Once a month, I go out. On a day in the week that I won't be working. A day just for me. Me time. I need that day. It's therapy. Therapy for my dysphoria. Last Wednesday was such a day, and I was lucky, because the weather was very nice. My outfit: a striped women's … Continue reading One fine day

I have always found women's clothes very pretty. Unfortunately, I considered them forbidden fruit for too long, but now I dare to wear them myself. It feels like an upgrade every time. I feel prettier and happier. These clothes just feel so nice. It's all those details that make it special: a puffed sleeve that … Continue reading I dress like you. I am like you.

Sometimes very small things make me happy, like my earrings. They are small in size, they barely make a sound, and I only feel them for a moment when I put them on. Afterwards I'm not aware of them anymore. They are just details that complete the picture. And then suddenly, at a moment when … Continue reading Little things

Not too fast. That’s what I have told myself from the beginning. As if I am on a local train, and only go one stop at a time. Once there, I walk around a bit. Do I like it here? Do I want to go further, or do I want to go in a different … Continue reading Looking forward

It's not easy for a woman, choosing the right clothes. Compared to men, their options are a hundredfold. Stress to choose. Do I go for a dress, pants, or a skirt? A long, short or midi skirt? Wide or narrow? With print or plain? Which blouse goes with that skirt? Which cardigan goes with this … Continue reading Finding my style

I confess. I'm still a little jealous. Jealous of all those women who go out and walk around the city wearing beautiful dresses. They look so good. Everything is fine. What they do is normal. And they have not much to fear. For me this is still a serious hurdle. When I go outside in … Continue reading My superhero costume

About nine months ago, I finally accepted it. I too sit under the colorful umbrella of the transgender community, a lovely community. Being trans* still occupies me a lot, but in a much more positive way than before. Since that moment I had my first total makeover done, bought some nice clothes, took make-up classes. … Continue reading Little changes

Dear L, It happened. I did it. I went out. For the first time. And now, of course, you're wondering what it was like, but you already know that. I want to be honest with you, L, it wasn't easy. I enjoyed it, but not to the fullest, not every second. There was also fear … Continue reading My first time out

14 years. I’m quite certain that I was 14 when I first discovered the pleasure of a skirt. What I don't remember is how it started, or why I did it, but at one point I took the skirt out of my sister's closet, and my heart started beating faster. Because I knew what I … Continue reading My first skirt

Dear Louise, How are you doing? I don't have to ask. Because I already know. I also know that this letter is no surprise to you. You read it already when I wrote it. You told me you're looking forward to next week. That' s when you go out for the first time, and I … Continue reading A special letter