Finding my style

It’s not easy for a woman, choosing the right clothes. Compared to men, their options are a hundredfold. Stress to choose. Do I go for a dress, pants, or a skirt? A long, short or midi skirt? Wide or narrow? With print or plain? Which blouse goes with that skirt? Which cardigan goes with this blouse? And which shoes go with my outfit? Boots? Pumps? Sneakers? I’m trying and experimenting, but I feel like I’ve never cooked before and have to prepare a dish with all the ingredients of the world at my disposal. And there is no recipe.

I try it on my own first. I order some stuff online. Based on good luck. Because the models look pretty in it. The stuff arrives at home. I try it on. Sometimes it turns out to be a good choice, but sometimes not. Usually not, actually. I don’t like what I see in the mirror, but I don’t know why. Is it my body? My head? My choices? Even when I browse through stores, I see so many beautiful things. But will I look good in then? Are they still beautiful when I am wearing them?

You can learn to cook from a chef, you can learn to dress from a stylist. And fortunately we live in times when there are stylists who also like to help transgender people. Sofie is one of them. We made an appointment and we were both looking forward to our meeting. But it wasn’t an ordinary meeting, it became a party, with Sofie as Master of Ceremony, and me as party guest.

After changing clothes and making up, Sofie taught me some theory. About figures. Female figures. You can label them with letters and numbers: one woman is an H, the other an A, some are a V, others an 8. The ideal turns out to be X, also called the hourglass figure. Shoulders and hips are the same width, and the waist is narrower. She asked me what I thought I was, I said an H.

We stood in front of the mirror, I had to hold two white sticks along my body. And Sofie gave me my first euphoric moment. I turned out to be an X. In my teens I cursed on my narrow shoulders, now I am so happy about them. And Sofie continued, complimenting me on my slender arms, my beautiful legs, the curls in my hair. “You don’t need that wig anymore,” she said. I grew, I blossomed. I was about to cry of joy, but held back. The vibes were so good. Then again some theory: what is the ideal clothing for an X-type? Sofie answered all the questions I didn’t even know I had to ask.

And the best was yet to come. The original plan was to go shopping, but because of the Corona measures this could not happen. No problem for Sofie, and she brought in half a clothing store. She asked me what I wanted to try on. “Everything”, I said. I felt like the child who gets to choose something in a big toy store. This was pure enjoyment. One beautiful piece after another. Pieces I wouldn’t dare choose myself. I went outside my comfort zone, but again Sofie was the perfect guide, so positive, so honest, so sweet. Also so inclusive, since she talked about “we women”. She made me feel like I was born to wear such clothes. For the first time I felt 100% a woman, and I was on cloud nine.

In the end, I chose – we chose – two dresses, a blouse, and pants. I felt great when I wore them. Why is that? Why is it so important? I can be a woman wearing jogging pants and a T-shirt, can’t I? Well, like I said before, it’s like chocolate. I like it, but I don’t know why. It matters. Clothes make the woman. They bring out what’s inside. And it also works the other way around. The outside also shapes the inside. I’ve never felt so ladylike before.

Sofie did what a stylist does. She analyzed my figure and gave me clothing advice. But she gave so much more. She gave me self-confidence, she identified my strengths, and helped me in my search. Not only the search for my style, but also the search for myself. I’m glad there are Sofies, and I’m glad I found one.